Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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