I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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