I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
