I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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