she woke up with a sticky ear
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
