...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
