I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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