Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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