On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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