i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
