Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
