this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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