My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
