fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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