Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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