Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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