yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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