i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
