i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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