whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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