I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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