I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
