Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
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i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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