i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
