Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize