you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
