Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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