Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize