I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
