We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize