Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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