she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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