Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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