I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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