Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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