man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
