"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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