U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
