I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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