Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo

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(360): View more from Washington

I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

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(806): View more from Texas

I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.

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(925): View more from California

i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion

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(203): View more from Connecticut

If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it

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(813): View more from Florida

I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.

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