found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
