When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
