i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
