Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
