wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's never too late to be topless.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
