Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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