just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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