Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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