just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
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New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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