You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
How's work?
Spinning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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