I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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