I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm getting married
To pizza
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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