i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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