Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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