I'm eating all of the evidence.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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