There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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