Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
