could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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