my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
